When it rains, it pours but they say you don’t move to Paris for the weather. 😉 So when Paris gives you soggy croissants, you attempt to make Bread and Butter Pudding with them. 🥐 ☔️ 🤷🏼♀️
So, alas not everyday in Paris is La Vie En Rose.
(What the heck?! Why not?! How did Coco Chanel make it work?….)
How living in Paris is in my mind, vs the reality of how it feels at the moment:
Yup…that’s the feeling right there….
So for those of you who follow my instagram accounts you have gleaned that Roo and I are rockin’ it out alone here at the moment, awaiting la grande ‘demoiselle’ of fashion herself to arrive:
Throwback from when she was rockin’ the runway at age 2:
Georgia as my model when I had “George Clothing Company” (pre-walmart moving into Canada and issuing us a Cease and Desist Order….we had only trademarked for Western Canada. Most costly business decision ever….)
And before her Royal Highness of Fashion arrives, Roo and I have been navigating a few new challenges:
1 We have to move. This apartment is for sale and the owners will be allowing prospective purchasers to come through which isn’t really what we had in mind. And then of course we would/could have to move at some point when we are feeling really settled, so we decided to look for something else. So that’s been happening…just as I’m settled, the universe says, ‘oh no, you don’t….
2 We have had a leak in this apartment. It’s in a corner of the bathroom we don’t use much and the leak isn’t coming into our bathroom but is apparently leaking very hot water into the storage space below which prompted the building guardien (caretaker) to come knocking on our door with the plumber one evening when we were in our PJs. So we had a 10:30pm-midnight plumbing investigation happening which is NOT how I recommend one spends a Saturday night in Paris. grumble grumble…
3 Today, the plumbing issue continues. Yesterday apparently the water was still flowing into the storage space below so I had to be in constant communication with the apartment owner (who is in LA) to keep him informed with photos etc as to the progress. The plumbers are now cutting through the wall as I write this to see what’s happening with the plumbing behind. What’s that you say? Sorry I cant hear a thing over these saws. grumble grumble moan and groan.
4 Roo’s school has moved which explains why we couldn’t see any signs of it at the address we had previously visited. Wow. Thanks for the heads up. (Not!) I would have thought that might be some critical info for people moving from half way around the globe and seeking accommodation nearby…but there we are. So we have decided to give a pass on the school. Roo is super keen to do the ‘Distance Learning’ and I’ve now adjusted to that so I think we could make a good experience of it. (Plus the school here has upped all its fees and associated fees (bus, lunch, sports) AND moved to the Trocadero…which is chaos central and so not somewhere we want to be schlepping to and from on a daily basis despite its jaw dropping view of the Tour Eiffel.
Love this! And reminds me that one system doesn’t fit all. #HomeSchool #FingersCrossed …Unless you are a fish, penguin or a snake in which casejust wiggle, or wink your eyes, or do some kind of a happy dance that works in the absence of fingers to cross! hahaa
So that’s the scoop. Oh! and it’s been pouring rain which Roo is grumbling about because it makes driving his remote control car less responsive. I however am ok with the respite in heat. My back is still bothering me so cool weather makes me feel less guilty about being a bit lazy. And one could always turns soggy croissants into this:
But I did start a Kundalini Yoga program yesterday morning and that was shockingly amazing. I heard Madonna is a fan which i think is what likely put me off, and that it doesn’t seem remotely athletic but given I was just wanting to be able to move without pain, I was all for a chill yoga experience. I loved it. The teacher is an older woman who is so graceful and lovely I was quite transfixed by her. I can’t wait to do it again. I do yoga on an app so I can access it any time which works so well. So after one class I did two more and I could move again!!! As I said to a friend: I KNOW I know I need to do yoga daily….why am I so pig headed about wanting to?! I think it’s just the Border Collie in me: I would rather just run at top speed chasing squirrels. I don’t have the focus and calmness for yoga: yet….. wink wink. Clearly I need to keep working on this. Working by sitting still: Such a foreign concept to me! 🤪
So when you see me next, if I’m in tights and draped in a kaftan and wearing a white wrap around my head with a beautiful stone, you will know that Kundalini dun got me real gud. (Besides….I would never have to do my hair!?….Endless benefits I can see…..)
She is the most charming lovely lady…💛And just as limber as all get out!!
The universe thinks I am a slow learner. I’ve always prided myself on being a keen student but it seems abundantly clear that I am not getting this concept quickly enough. Perhaps my affinity for planning is kiboshing my ability to embrace change and ‘not knowing’. It’s true I don’t like ‘not knowing’. Knowledge is power and I like feeling powerful (in terms of being knowlegeable).
So where I am I going with this? Well, l when I decided to come here to accompany Georgia and get her settled in this large foreign metropolitan city, it was after a discussion with all involved that Harry and Roo would come too. I researched schools and applied for one that seemed a good choice for the boys.
Harry has now convinced us that he really doesn’t want to be in Paris. Coming to Paris was always Georgia’s dream and not his. I definitely acknowledge this because I favored the Design Academy in Eindhoven for Georgia, (and thought she would go there by herself as Eindhoven is the same (small) size as Victoria and the school seems very welcoming, like a family) but that was my idea for her, not hers.
Harry wants to stay in Victoria and have some space to himself. He wants to go to the local high school and leave the private school which he was finding too restrictive. We agreed that the fit there wasn’t perfect for him and just as we are encouraging Georgia to choose her own path, we acknowledge Harry should be given the same opportunity. We have strongly cautioned him, however, that he has a duty to himself to nurture that choice into becoming the right one for him. We are hopeful. And he seems determined, and that’s all we can ask.
So I’m down one little chick in my Parisian nest: ‘premier changement’. Next change is that since arriving here we did a walk by past Roo’s new school (that we had checked out at Spring Break when we were here.) We were a little alarmed to see that the placard outside the building has come down and that there was the distinct impression that the school was very much not in attendance. So I emailed the directrisse and didn’t hear back for a week. In that time Roo sprung into action and suggested he be home schooled this year.
But Roo not going to an actual school where he can meet other kids and have the experience of lunching (French style) with kids from around the world is not what I had envisioned for him, and is most certainly a change to our plan that is taking some getting used to for me.
And then just when I had really wrapped my mind around him being home schooled, a reply to my email arrived. It seems the school has moved! (Well, wouldn’t that be a piece of information, I, as a parent would have liked to know?!…but maybe that’s very controlling of me…?!…. No, I don’t think so! I’m standing firm on this one, universe!
The email explained the school has moved and that I am to expect an email next week with further details….such as the address!!! 😆 All I know thus far is it’s in the 16eime Arr. We are in the 8eime Arr. ….and we specifically chose this apt/location so that Roo (and we thought at the time, Harry too) could walk to school. So now the school is going to be about 15-25 min away from where we are (depending on where exactly in the 16th it is.) This is cause for some grumble and groan from me. Really universe….?!
So we aren’t sure that’s going to work for us the way we wanted. Our new (ever changing) plan is to go see the new school when its mystery address is revealed and see how we all feel about it. So maybe Roo will go there. I definitely see many advantages to him having the regularity of a school to attend, and kids to meet and teachers with whom to connect. But the idea of home schooling has also many appealing features.
It’s anyone’s guess at this stage!! Ok universe, I GET IT!…. You want me to stop planning. I need to just wave in the breeze like tall grasses. I’ve just never been a wave in the breezes kind of girl. I’ve always been a ‘set my sights on a goal and work to achieve it’ kind of girl.
I see the merits in both life approaches. Certainly when I was diagnosed with cancer, I had to do both: I had to be proactive about immediate treatment but I also had to process that despite living a healthy lifestyle so that i wouldn’t fall prey to illness, it had arrived anyway. Control is an illusion. Damn it anyway.
So i’m working my way through the balance of planning and ‘letting it happen. The universe is a demanding professor may I say.
Tapping into some Danish Inspiration about how to create a home environment filled with warmth, togetherness and security.
*This post is dedicated to my lovely Danish friend, Sacha who taught me her beautiful art of Hygge before I even knew there was such a thing. You inspire me!
As I start packing to *move* (gulp…) to Paris, I ponder what makes a house feel like a real ‘home’. ‘Our’ furnished apartment is really lovely. We are incredibly lucky and I’m wondering how I can make it feel like our own without having chosen the furnishings, paint colors, art work or linens.
My sister in law gave me a book called ‘Hygge – The Danish Way To Live Well’, by Meik Wiking and as I read it, I realized the elements articulated made so much sense. In fact, the Danish ideas of living well resonated so much with me that I’m wondering if I might have to abandon my phrase about having been Italian in a former life in favor of claiming to be Danish. I definitely look more Scandanavian than Italian. And my risotto making skill is sufficiently lacking enough to raise doubt about any purported Italian heritage.
It appears, however, that most places in the world have similar ways they describe these ideal feelings of home. The Italians have ‘La Dolce Vita”, or ‘The Sweet Life’, which means enjoying all that life should be (and described by others as ‘the seven deadly sins’, which is fascinating food for thought, but I will leave that to the film students to dissect Frederico Fellini’s intentions in his 1960’s Italian drama that brought the expression into popular vernacular.)
The Dutch use the word ‘Gezelligheid’ to mean ‘cozy, quaint and social’. Norwegians use ‘Koselig’ to denote ‘warmth, intimacy and togetherness’. Wiking references that Canadians call our ideal spaces, ‘homey’. Wow!….aren’t we wildly creative and descriptive in our language skills!?! (Not….) Nevertheless the word ‘homey’ apparently conveys the idea of ‘authenticity, togetherness and warmth’. The German word, ‘Gemutlichkeit (with the umlaut over the u, which my keyboard is refusing to type…and no, it’s not me. I’m a tech genius as you all know. (Bahahaha…) Anyway, the German word refers to the ‘state of warmth, friendliness and belonging’. And so we see a trend about how an inviting home feels, in the parts of the world where we are lucky enough to mostly live without hardship.
So what do the Danes mean when they say ‘hygge’? Wiking says it’s described as:
-“the art of creating intimacy”
-“coziness of the soul”
-“the absence of annoyance” (which immediately prompted me to think this is exactly why we all generally loathe being solicited by people ringing our doorbell.)
-“taking pleasure from the presence of soothing things”
-“cozy togetherness”,
…and the very specific:
-“cocoa by candelight” (Here is a sentiment I can get well behind! Add a number of furry creatures (those with paws. I don’t mean men with beards. Sorry….) and some books and/or music and you’ve pretty much described my ideal scenario.)
What I love about the concept of Hygge is that is speaks to atmosphere and experience, rather than things. This is a big relief for me because if I can’t move everything plus the kitchen sink, it seems all hope is not lost!
In creating Hygge the desire is to elicit “the feeling that we are safe, that we are shielded from the world and we can let our guard down.” According to Wiking, Danes are also at the top of the Happiness Ranking on the World Happiness Report. To many this is a perplexing idea as the Danish experience horrific weather and some of the highest tax rates in the world. There is however a wide support for the welfare state. Danes don’t seem to resent high taxes, instead they see them as investments in society, that is to say they see taxes as being the purchase of quality of life. The Danish welfare model reduces risk, uncertainty and anxiety among its citizens and in so doing prevents extreme unhappiness.
I’m reminded of having heard the phrase that a family is only as happy as its least happy child (or family member.) Perhaps then this familial model can be expanded to the happiness/well being of a national population? ‘Hygge’ translates as ‘well-being’ and thus it makes sense there is a link between hygge and happiness.
But what do these happy Danes actually ‘do’ that makes them experience such high levels of well-being? Research reports that Danes, compared to other European nationals and to North Americans meet most often with their friends and family and they feel the calmest and most peaceful by comparison. Denmark has shorter work weeks than other nations do. Danes with children reportedly leave by 4 and those without children leave by 5. At 5:30, most offices are entirely deserted. Wow! And so now we see how/why they are able to enjoy so much togetherness with friends and family!
Danes work to be able to spend time with those they love. I wonder how accurate this reporting is? Many European nations seem to share the same workaholic tendencies that North America does. Denmark is geographically so close to other nations. I’m surprised their culture appears to remain so distinct but the proof seems to exist.
Workaholism tends to reward its devotees with higher incomes and despite most people knowing money doesn’t buy happiness, it does buy a lot of nice material things that people tend to equate with a preferable lifestyle. But a lifestyle filled with expensive things doesn’t seem to be on the Danish wish-list of well-being. So what is?
How do the Danes create Hygge in their homes and workplaces and restaurants and shops?
You might be surprised.
Turns out that candles top the list. The American Ambassador to Denmark at the time said the Danes have an insane love affair with candlelight. “I mean it is not just in the living room! It is everywhere! In your classrooms, in your boardrooms. As an American, you think, ‘Ah! – Fire Hazard!!’, but it’s a kind of emotional coziness.”
This isn’t so shocking really. Even North Americans have clued in and are readily installing dimmer switches in their homes. “Mood Lighting” is the term we call it and we know it makes everyone feel calmer and happier. And perhaps as North Americans we might be one step ahead on this because it turns out candles actually shed more particles indoors than cigarettes or cooking. Even though Danes are very much into being healthy, natural and environmentally conscious, (having adopted organic foods before the rest of the world), they eschew worries over the risk of particulates into their air, such is their obsession with authentic candlelight.
‘Hygge’ reminds me of the way many people I know use the term ‘uber’, (the german pre-fix meaning ‘super’, not the car service replacing taxis.) Hygge is a verb and placed with another word, it becomes a noun. Here are some great examples which go a long way to describing the Hygge* concept:
-‘Fredagshygge’ = Friday night hygge, usually family time, cozied together on the couch watching tv, or playing a board game.
-‘Sondagshygge’ = Sunday hygge, meaning a slow day with tea, books, music and blankets and perhaps a walk for the very energetic.
*Hygge is pronounced “hoo-ga” which only makes the whole concept even better! Sunday hygge is thus pronouced ‘Sonda-shooga’ which just contributes to conveying the concept of the Danish Sunday chill vibe.
Here are some other good ones:
-‘Hyggebukser’ (hooga-buk-sr) : your favorite (likely hideous) comfy lounge/PJ pants.
-‘Hyggeonkel’ (hoo-gunkel) : the lenient uncle who favors fun over good behavior. He is the Danish version of what my brother calls ‘the funcle’ (fun uncle.)
-‘Hyggestund’ (hooga-stun) : a moment of hygge
-‘Uhyggelit’ (ew-hooga-lit) : when something is un-hygge like, such as the scary feeling of walking alone down a dark street.
I’ve backtracked a bit into the word, its derivation and its meaning(s), so now how do the Danes actually create Hygge? Wiking breaks the concept into points:
Presence (as in being present without distractions of screens etc.)
Pleasure (things that create warmth and comfort and satiety and pleasure like blankets, a fireplace, warm drinks, comfort food, pets, sweet treats (the Danes have a superhero they call ‘cake-man’ which illustrates their love of cake.)
Equality (‘we’ over ‘me’….and now I’m seeing how the concepts of Hygge and ‘family togetherness’ can co-exist, wink wink…)
Gratitude (being thankful for all we are so lucky to enjoy now.)
Harmony (selflessness and lack of personal ego in conversation.)
Comfort (not sure how this differs from pleasure but Wiking’s suggestion is to create a relaxing environment. I would argue that comfort is the result of having all the other elements in place, but what do I know?….not much, AND I’m not Danish..)
Truce (no drama which again I would say is the same thing as Harmony, but refer to point 7…)
Togetherness
Shelter (This makes me think of the concept of the ‘small spaces’ architect, Susan Susanka talks about when she says how important it is to create ‘shelter around activity’ which references the human desire to be cocooned, safe and cozy in a warm little area of space.)
Where Hygge resides, people hopefully feel relaxed, warm, open, close to others, un-threatened, comfortable, snug and welcomed. These feelings can also be used to describe the feelings when someone is given a hug. Hygge comes from the ancient Norwegian word for ‘hug’, so I suppose a space should feel like it’s giving its inhabitants a warm hug.
Wiking gives suggestions of specific things a Hygge-hus (thats my own creation there; ‘hus’ is house in Danish) might have:
Treats (a jar of candy. I am anti-candy so this is a tough one for me. But hygge is meant to be harmonious and judgment-free so there’s that….groan 😉.)
Smell of fresh baked goods. (A dear friend is coming to Paris to visit me and we have planned to take a bread making class. This is a social activity in a warm toasty kitchen that takes a lot of time to create and as such seems ‘uber-hygge’ to me. (See what I did there?…)
Slow/Comfort foods (that take all day to cook and need loving care all day. This might not be hugely practical on a daily basis but I roast tomatoes with balsamic and garlic cloves and make it into a very simple soup and served with artisan bread, it is one of my kids’ favorite meals so I definitely recognize the value of lovingly making food for people we nourish.)
Hot drinks (which given my love of my morning hot chocolate, which, yes, i know it’s basically a liquid chocolate bar and chocolate is candy and I am supposedly not a fan of candy. I know it makes no sense. I’m an enigma, what can I say?) Anyway, it makes me think that of top priority once I arrive in Paris will be to get a milk frother so I can make Hot Chocolate and London Fogs. I guess I should also get a Nespresso machine so I can offer guests a ‘Nespressahooga’, hehehe. (I’ve written it as its pronounced because it’s more fun that way.) As an aside, the Danes apparently drink more coffee than any other nation so if Nespresso machines are sold there and Nespresso is not yet capitalizing on this term, I think they have missed a valuable marketing opportunity. Just saying…)
Candles….duh…
Music…ditto
Books…obvi
Warmth (its hard to get your ‘hooga’ happening when you are cold or uncomfortable, so lots of blankets and cushions.)
Pets (yup….I wish I could bring our beloved feline to Paris but he will get lost because he doesn’t speak French and he won’t learn a new language he informed me because leopards don’t change their spots.)
Natural materials: leather, fur, woollens, wood, ceramics, plants. (At first I was surprised by the omission of ‘flowers’ which I always think goes an enormous way to making a space feel inviting but fresh flowers in the dead of a Danish winter would be very expensive and I love that instead there is attention to other equally lovely and more readily available natural elements like twigs and branches and pinecones and green boughs.)
Vintage items (France is full of markets so I’m sure I will find some beautiful old jugs or linens.)
Alcohol (Further endorsement for popping corks!! Bring on the bubbles!!!! And where better to enjoy bubbles, than in France?!?
On that note, Cheers to you, my friends!!! 🥂✨ I hope you enjoyed a hyggelig Canada Day long weekend! 🇨🇦❤️ Below are some hoogalicious images I found. I love this concept can reside just as happily in a rustic cabin as a stylish chic interior. It just goes to show home is really where the heart (and the art) is.
A man spent hours watching a butterfly struggling to emerge from its cocoon. It managed to make a small hole, but its body was too large to get through. After a long struggle, it appeared to be tired, and remained absolutely still, seeming to give up.
The man thought he would help the butterfly, and with a pair of scissors, he gently cut open the cocoon, thus releasing the butterfly. However, the butterfly’s body was tiny and shrunken, and its wings were all crinkly and wrinkled.
The man continued to watch, thinking that at any moment the butterfly would unfold its wings and fly away. Nothing happened; in fact, the butterfly spent the remainder of its brief life crawling around with its body emaciated and its wings drooping, incapable of flying.
What the man – out of kindness and his eagerness to help had failed to understand was that the close-fitting cocoon and the efforts the butterfly was forced to make in order to squeeze out of that small hole were Nature’s way of training the butterfly and of strengthening its wings.
8 lessons from the butterfly story:
We are all butterflies waiting to emerge. The talents and skills dormant in us will likely bloom if given a chance.
We never know what tomorrow will bring and we can try not to lose hope in ourselves and our process. As much as is possible we can look forward with optimism.
No stage is permanent. When bad things happen, we can try and remember as Birbal said, “This too shall pass.”
We must want to fly so much that we are willing to give up life as we know it on the ground (as a caterpillar).
We can try and remember our struggle is worth it. “Behind every beautiful thing, there is some kind of pain.” (Bob Dylan)
The journey itself is as important as the destination, and has a beauty all its own.
Transformation occurs slowly from the inside out and isn’t easy. “The wings of transformation are born of patience and struggle.” (Janet S Dickens)
“What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly.” (Richard Bach). Even if it feels like our life is going to end, and all hope is lost, it may just be the beginning of another, more beautiful stage of life.
