Today was an absolutely stunning day. The heavens opened last night but this morning the sky began clear, bright blue and cold. I regretted wearing a short coat and stuffed my hands in my pockets as I walked through the Jardins de Palais Royal in the late afternoon.
Like a cat, I have slowly expanded the circle around my house and I have what feels like a sizeable radius within which I can wander on autopilot and let the hamsters in my brain do what they do best. It’s come to my attention that the content of my blog has not landed well with a few people and I have been mulling since my last post exactly how to address that.
I’ve been told that given I am a very private person, it seems strange that I am sharing things about my life in a public blog. I’ve thought a lot about this one. My blog came to be because I used to write long descriptive notes to a friend of mine and he suggested that I could write a blog because my journey might be of interest to other people. I do enjoy writing. It’s a great outlet for me to work through some of the cacophony created by the hamsters upstairs. I also love reading, and as such I follow a few blogs that I think, dare I say, ‘enrich my perspective’ and by whom I’ve felt inspired.
My favorite blog as most of you know because I am incorrigible about sending it to people, is Jenny Lawson, author of 3 books, and author of a blog called The Bloggess. Not only is Jenny Lawson absolutely hilarious, but she is a brilliant storyteller. She is a passionate animal lover and it’s a wonder she gets any words to screen given the constant barrage by her menagerie. I find her to be incredibly witty and engaging with her style of writing and her topics are so uncommon and also seem so relatable.
Jenny Lawson is very open about suffering from a myriad of health problems, both physical and mental which sometimes cause her to feel like the walls are closing in. Sometimes her depression is so bad she cannot write. And yet she does..just a little, here and there when she can. The grace and good humor with which she handles all that life throws her is incredibly inspiring and impressive.
There are people who are fighting crime and slaying dragons in impressive displays in the arenas of athletics, academics, business, technology, medicine and others I’m sure I’ve forgotten, but what partly inspires me about the way Jenny Lawson is, is that she lives a seemingly mostly ‘typical’ life, being a daughter, wife, mother, pet owner, neighbor, friend etc and also dealing with (more than her fair share of) adversity. And from her everyday experiences and struggles with medical challenge, she makes her own kind of beauty and magic, and SHARES it with all of us.
If she eliminated the personal content of her blog, her story wouldn’t resonate on the very human level that it does. I believe it’s precisely her bravery and courage in sharing all the parts of her life that gives her messages their immense power. (Click here for an article about her.)
It’s also a wonderful example of giving because as a result of sharing her journey in such a truly authentic, touching and hilarious way, Jenny Lawson has created a huge fan base from whom she says she now feels tremendous daily support. It’s a perfect example of how the act of giving when done with pure intention becomes symbiotic with receiving.
I thank all the stars that shine that I haven’t had to deal with the sorts of obstacles Jenny Lawson faces daily. But like all of us I have had challenges. I had never known fear of imminent death for example like when I had cancer. It was crushing for me. The challenges of living abroad have paled in comparison, but I have certainly had my moments and the heartfelt notes of love and encouragement from you have meant the world. You know who you are, and I thank you and am so grateful to have you ‘in my orbit’ as one of my friends says.
I think it’s important to note also that my blog is not meant to be taken as notes home. My writing here is my place to play with ideas and experiment with commentary about things that are of interest to me, and maybe others. My stories are not fictional, but may involve a little artistic license because that’s fun and makes things more interesting.
I think it’s of benefit to be in a public format and discoverable for people to come across because it means I can connect with those with whom my path might otherwise not cross. And isn’t that the whole point of our journeys through time on this floating blue dot?….to challenge the unknown in whatever form that takes for each one of us? It’s also been my experience that when I share authentically especially with others who I am just coming to know, they will often do the same. And if they don’t, they are probably not those with whom I wish to engage. I’m not a huge fan of cocktail parties for example because of their ‘small talk nature’ but almost without fail I end up finding a few like-minded people with whom to share a few really deep conversations.
So what does ZF2.0 = SA+SA mean?
Well I was thinking about the concept that’s bantered about so much these days of ‘giving zero f*cks’. There’s a book on it, and I have to say I found it to be excellent. And this image below just came up on my instagram and I had to laugh:
But joking aside, it’s a concept with which I wrestle so much. The idea of ‘giving zero f*cks’ about what others think is very difficult for me. Like most of us, I have always sought the acceptance and approval of others. So when I boil down the true nature of giving zero f*cks it means being so accepting and approving of ourselves that the opinions and judgments of others don’t hold any relevance for us.
Zero F*cks 2.0 = Self Acceptance + Self Approval
If I chose to write some commentary or other about something or to share my version of something that happened in my life, it is for my own artistic expression and as a way to consider the meaning of things as I move through life. Acting with kindness, respect and honesty is what is of utmost importance to me. I endeavour to do that with every interaction I have everyday.
When I make decisions, my rationale might not be obvious, clear or even discernible when explained to others, but that’s ok. And sharing things about my life is a form of expression that won’t ‘vibe’ with everyone as the modern vernacular goes. But I’m happy doing my thing here in my pink Mickey Mouse spandex. It works for me. I’m comfortable for travel, and maybe I’m on my way to Disneyland!? I’m going to fit right in, and be able to walk happily for miles in my dad sneakers, tank top and these vermin themed leggings in a color that will make me easily viewable in a crowd. 😉 #DisneylandOrBust